Total Drama Cruising
by Christ lover 357
Summary: Season 5 has begun on a lovely cruise ship in the oceans. Who will win? Who will lose? What romances and friendships will start? And how can I humiliate the 28 contestants first? Read and find out on Total... Drama... CRUISING! DISCOUNTINUED! :(
1. Ep 1- The Beginnings of Drama Part 1

Chris is standing on a dock with a cruise liner in the background.

"Last time on Total Drama, thirteen brand new competitors competed on toxic island for a sweet million dollars! In the end bubble boy Cameron won, proving that brain overpowers brawn. The reviews and ratings were pretty good and fans loved most of the new cast. However, you guys missed are veteran contestants and voiced that to our producers. We answered the call, were brining back 14 heroic players and 14 villainous players to compete on a luxury cruise liner! Crazy right!? What drama will unfold, who will be horribly injured, and how can we humiliate them beyond reason! Find out on this new season of… Total….. Drama.…CRUISING!

(Theme song plays)

"Hello viewers, what is behind me is a three star cruise ship of mostly luxury that are contestants will stay and compete on and confess there iner most thoughts in a port potty!. The rules and teams will be explained later, but first we need to introduce are contestants for this season. Speaking of which here they are now!" A large bus pulls up in front of Chris.

"First we have the newly fixed, Ezekiel!" Ezekiel steps out of the bus.

"Yo, yo, yo! This seasons winner has arrived in the house ba-by! And I-"

"Zip it Ezekiel!" says Chris glaring at Zeke. Zeke glares back and mumbles to himself.

"Next, here's our Jersey Shore Reject, Anne Maria! Who looks peeved" Anne Maria looks angry as she steps off.

"You bet I'm peeved, dey forced me to stop spraying my- YOU!" Anne Maria eyes a now scared Zeke as she lunges at his throat.

"You're the reason I lost last season!" Chef comes and takes Anne Maria away before she kills Ezekiel. Chris in the meantime is laughing his head off. He wipes away a tear from all the laughing.

***Confessional***

**Chris: "This is going to be a great season, BWHAHAHAHA!" Chris wipes away another tear.**

**Ezekiel: "I didn't realize I caused Anne Maria to lose the million, I feel kinda bad, eh. I don't even really remember what happened…. I don't remember really anything from when I went all feral, eh."**

**Anne Maria: "Homeschool's gona so get what's comin' to him!" **

joy.***End Confessional***

"Next is our CIT- in- residence, Courtney!" Courtney walks out angry.

"Don't start with me Chris! My stupid lawyers said I reached my max lawsuits or whatever, and they confiscated my PDA. And… ARHHHHHH!" Chris is laughing even harder now and jumping for

"Yes! She won't sue me! She wont sue me! I- " Chris finds that Courtney is glaring at him. Chris immediately stops being happy and jumping with joy.

"Heh- heh, er…. Never mind. Our next contestants are our former Aftermath host, Bridgette!"

"Hey Chris" Bridgette said as she smiled and waved at him. Then she frowned and asked Chris a question.

"Is Alehenious going to be here?" Chris smiled.

"Speaking of which, here he is, Alejandro!" Alejandro steps off the bus wearing his sunglasses smiling.

"Hi chica, I wanted to say-", Al was cut off by Bridgette socking him in the face, knocking a tooth out.

"YOU, you're the reason me and Geoff broke up!"

"All I wanted to say was I'm sorry Bridgette." Alejandro looked up at her with a pleading look on his eyes. She looked at him with a sorrow.

"I'm sorry"

***Confessional***

**Bridgette: (sigh) I guess that was a little over the top… but being seduced by him was the worst decision of my life. After World Tour, Geoff could never trust me and we fought all the time. A few months later we broke up and were not exactly on friendly terms. It's been so hard these past few months…. But that still doesn't excuse what I did to Alejandro…." Bridgette looks at the floor and starts to cry.**

**Alejandro: "I hope I am able to undo all the damage I caused"**

***End Confessional***

"Next to participate is someone who hasn't competed in four seasons, Eva!"

"Hi everyone" Eva says as she walks out of the bus smiling. At the sight of Eva, Bridgette looked scared and Zeke hid behind Courtney, who just rolled her eyes. Eva sighed and stood

***Confessional***

**Courtney: "Eva can't pull the wool over my eyes"**

**Eva: "This season I'm trying to be nicer and sweeter…. It's somewhat hard after years of being so angry. I haven't broken something in rage in a week. That's really good, for me anyways. Hopefully I make new friends" **

***End Confessional***

"Next off the boat is kind DJ! DJ steps off the boat happily carrying Bunny. He walks over to stand next to Bridgette.

"My mama convinced me that the curse wasn't real and now its like it never happened!", with saying that he high-fived Bridgette.

"Nobody cares DJ" said Chris "Next we have Noah, Leshawna, and Trent!" Trent walked out with his guitar behind him.

"It's great to be back here Chris…. Well sorta"

***Confessional***

**Trent: I hope to redeem myself from what happened in season 2. I went nuts, really nuts. Maybe I'll even win back Gwen…. But that's asking for much.**

***End Confessional***

"Speak for yourself", said Noah walking out reading a book, "I really didn't want to play another round of humiliate the teens, but Mr. Narcissist here said I had to or he'd do horrible things to me like flash me with his bald head or something" Noah smirked at this remark, all the other contestants started laughing. Chris just glared at him.

"Noah you're a funny little Indian boy, you just need to stop being so cynical and lazy" said the bootilicious Leshawna as she stepped out of the bus. Noah just rolled his eyes. Chris was still glaring at him when the next contestant came out.

"Ha ha! Izzy's excited to have more adventures!" Izzy cart wheeled over to Noah and Eva.

"NOAH! EVA! How are you guys ?" They both seemed a little startled at first, then they both smiled. Eva gave her a hug and smiled.

"Hi Izzy", Eva said.

"I see your still nuts", Noah chuckled. She smiled and went to give him a hug, Chris got angry.

"IZZY! I haven't called you out yet!", Everyone looked at a fuming mad Chris.

"Do you want her to go back in and come back out again, eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"No…", Chris said as he looked at the sky and tried to calm down, "Next we have B, Brick, and Harold!" B walked out of the bus and waved to everyone, not saying a word. Brick and Harold ran out next.

"Brick McArthur reporting for season 5 of Total Drama!"

"I'm ready to show off my mad skills!", Harold shouted and went over to Leshawna. Brick walked over to B and Anne Maria.

"Uh, Chris", Anne Maria asked, " Is dis all the contestants?" Chris smiled.

"Nope, the other bus is coming right now with the other 14 contestants. Here it is now!" Another large bus pulled up in front of everyone.

"First we have Owen and Heather!" Owen walked out happily carrying a passed out Heather.

"Hi guys!", they all would have responded with waves and hellos, but they were all confused by the passed out queen bee.

"What did you do to Heather?", Alejandro asked. Owen looked a little guilty.

"Well you see, I kind of ate a bunch of baked beans before I got onto the bus and-"

"We don't to hear the rest Owen!" Courtney said looking away in disgust. The Heather awakened, looked up at the lovable oaf who was carrying her, screamed and ran out of his arms to Alejandro and bear hugged him. Alejandro smiled at the sight of this.

***Confessional***

**Heather: "I had to sit next to Owen…. He farted the whole way there. I swear if he's on my team, I'm going to make sure he's the first one to go"**

***End Confessional***

After seeing Owen and Heather and there little issue, Chris was happy again.

"Next we have Jo!", she looked angry as she got off the bus.

"Stay out of my way if you value your beating heart!", everyone looked kinds' scared of her.

***Confessional***

**Eva: "Is that how I used to be like?"**

***End Confessional***

"Next we have Dawn, Scott, and Mike!", Scott walked of looking angry and just stood by himself. Mike walked off and looked for Zoey, who was not here. He was saddened but was not going to let that get him down, he stood over by Brick and B. Dawn got off next.

"Greetings, everyone. I hope you're all doing wonderful", Almost everyone said hello and waved. Bridgette went over to her and started a conversation.

"I can't believe I'm meeting you. You were awesome on the island. I loved how you cared for all those mutant animals."

"Why thank you Bridgette, your aura says you love nature and are sweet and kind. I look forward to getting to know you.", Bridgette smiled at the comment as she and Dawn struck a conversation.

***Confessional***

**Dawn: "I also reading her aura that she has a dark depression. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to damper her mood."**

***End Confessional***

"Next up, we have Lindsay, Tyler, and Beth!", Tyler sprinted out first.

"Ya! EXTREME!" Tyler shouted. Then he tripped over a pebble and fell. Lindsay and Beth ran to his aide.

"Tyler!", Lindsay screamed, "Are you okay!?"

"I think he'll be fine Lindsay." Beth reassured as Tyler groaned. Chris, Scott, and Heather started laughing. DJ, Bridgette, Noah, Eva, and Brick looked concerned.

***Confessional***

**Trent: "Ouch, that had to hurt"**

**DJ: "I felt real bad for Tyler man, I really didn't like that a bunch of people were laughing. That's not what Mama taught me to do"**

***End Confessional***

"Next we have Duncan and Gwen!", Gwen waved to everyone while Duncan just scowled.

"I can't believe I'm back here again.", Gwen tried to cheer him up.

"Ah come on Duncan, don't be a-", she was cut off by Courtney.

"Well if it isn't boyfriend kisser and jerk face", Gwen looked saddened, Duncan looked unfazed.

"Courtney I tried to apologize to you a thousand times since World Tour", Said Gwen trying to plead with her. Courtney just stuck her tongue out and looked away. Gwen hung her head in shame. Leshawna and Bridgette tried to comfort her. Leshawna glared at Courtney.

***Confessional***

**Leshawna: "Look, I'm not saying what Gwen did to miss CIT over here was right, but she doesn't deserve this hate. Courtney needs to learn to forgive."**

***End Confessional***

"Now we have our final 3 contestants, Cameron, Sierra, and Cody!", Cameron smiled and waved at everyone, while Sierra was cuddling a happy Cody. They walked over to Noah and Izzy. The two boys fist bumped each other, Izzy and Sierra high fived.

***Confessional***

**Cody: "In case you were wondering, yes I am dating Sierra. I've discovered she's really sweet and….normal once you to know her" Cody let out a happy sigh.**

**Sierra: "I'M DATING CODY! EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"**

***End Confessional***

With all the contestants here, Chris was ready to start the show.

"Attention teens! Please board the ship as fast as you can, the ship is leaving in ten seconds, GO!", with that all the contestants ran over each other getting in the ship.

***Confessional***

**Cameron: "I think I bruised my scapula"**

**Mike: "Why does Chris have to lie like that!? I mea- HUHHHH!- Back in my day, adults were trustworthy and- HUHHHHH!" Mike turns back into his normal self and looks at the camera worried. "Uh-oh"**

***End Confessional***

Chris is standing in the crows nest of the cruise as its sailing away.

"Well, that was dramatic! Who will be on what teams, and what will they be? Are Mikes MPD's coming back? Can Eva stay nice? Will B ever speak? Bridgette and Courtney forgive Alejandro and Gwen, respectively? And why was Noah happy to see Izzy, and didn't snap at her craziness? Find out next time on Total…. Drama…. CRUISING!


	2. Ep 2- The Beginnings of Drama Part 2

"Last time on Total Drama Cruising, 28 former contestants came and joined the competition. Tempers raised and lowered at our little reunion. Al lost a tooth, Eva tried to be nice, and Courtney is still an unforgiving brat. Then we took off to sail the seas. What will the teams be? How will I humiliate them? And who will be eliminated first? Find out on Total…..Drama…. Cruising!"

(Theme Song Plays)

Alejandro, Anne Maria, B, Beth, Bridgette, Brick, Cameron, Cody, Courtney, Dawn, DJ, Duncan, Eva, Ezekiel, Gwen, Harold, Heather, Izzy, Jo, Leshawna, Lindsay, Mike, Noah, Owen, Scott, Sierra, Trent, and Tyler were waiting in the huge dining room.

"He's taking forever", Courtney complained.

"Very typical of Chris, no surprise here", Noah said not looking up from his book….. except to glance at Izzy once and a while.

***Confessional***

**Noah: "Okay I admit it, I'm in love with Izzy. She's just so crazy and cute. I'm attempting to keep it a secret. Not only will it be embarrassing for people to learn of my secret, but I am also worried how Owen will react….."**

***End Confessional***

Chris finally walks out onto the stage.

"Hello contestants, I'm sure your all very happy to be here."

"Um Chris?", Heather asked, "Can we just get this over with?!" Heather glared at Chris. Chris glared back. Then Noah leaned into ask a question.

"You didn't want to play another round of humiliate the teens too?"

"Shut it bookworm!", responded Heather as she glared at him. Noah just rolled his eyes and looked away.

***Confessional***

**Heather: I know like it seems like I'm peeved off…. Well I am. This stupid show forced me to compete for 3 seasons, I won, then lost the million dollars, and they don't pay it back to me! UGH!**

***End Confessional***

"Anyways contestants, if you have no further complaints or comments, I will announce the teams. Will the following people go to the left side of the room…. Alejandro, Eva, Noah, Izzy, Gwen, Leshawna, Duncan, Anne Maria, Jo, Scott, Ezekiel, Heather, Courtney, and Sierra." Those people went to the other side of the room, sorta confused.

"Now will DJ, Mike, Lindsay, Bridgette, Cameron, B, Brick, Dawn, Trent, Owen, Cody, Beth, Harold, and Tyler go to the right side of the room." The went to there side also confused. Chris turned to the left side.

"From now on you guys will be known as…... the villains team! You guys on the left side as the…...the heroes team!"

"That was a bit anticlimactic.", Cody said.

***Confessional***

**Eva: "(sigh) Being put on the Villains team really.."**

**Alejandro: "..doesn't help my attempts to change my reputation.**

**Gwen: "Have I really fallen that far?! I know I haven't been the nicest contestant but….. (sigh)"**

**Owen: "WOO HOO! This is going to be awesome! I'm on the heroes team! I am a little saddened the Izzy isn't here on my team. I kinda wanted to win her back…. Oh well."**

***End Confessional***

The contestants were still standing on either sides of the room when Chris announced the rules.

"Contestants, this season of Total Drama is a bit different from all the others. This season someone will be eliminated in every episode."

Um, that happened last season o smart host.", Noah retorted.

"Zip it!", Chris yelled. "Anywhoos, this season once you leave you will go on the lifeboat of losers, into the sea of shame, back to Playa Da Losers where the Aftermath Show will be taking place this time. That's new, right Noah?" Noah just rolled his eyes.

"We get to go to that awesome resort after leaving this… semi dump." Scott said in semi- excitement.

"You renamed the ocean the sea of sadness, that's a sad name.", Lindsay said. Tyler opened his mouth to explain to her why that couldn't happen. But someone else said something first.

"Don't worry Lindsay, Chris doesn't have enough power to do that.", Beth said as she reassured her BFFFL.

***Confessional***

**Tyler: Y'know I really want to spend more time with Lindsay. But Beth is starting to get on my nerves…. I haven't seen her in 3 months, lost my cell phone, and my PC is down. At least they could still chat.**

***End Confessional***

"Not to mention, even if Chris tried, he'd have to deal with geographers, teachers, and probably world leaders.", Harold added, "And if there anything like Courtney, that won't be easy."

"I HEARD THAT!", Courtney screamed from across the room. She went to charge at Harold but was held back by Leshawna and Alejandro.

"Calm down Chica!", Alejandro said.

"I don't know, I think you should let her go. I wouldn't mind some girl vs. wimp action.", Duncan said smiling. Gwen glared at him. Leshawna got furious.

"You know what bad boy, I'm gonna get all in your face!", Leshawna lunged at him and started punching him. Eva watched the sister and CIT in silent horror.

***Confessional***

**Eva: "Did I used to be like that?" The camera shakes its head yes. "Oh…. {sniff}."**

***End Confessional***

"You know as much as I'd like to watch this I'm on a bit of a schedule.", Chris motioning for everyone to stop. It took 8 minutes, but they did.

"Next to announce is that Chef has help with cooking and cleaning and other stuff I don't really care about. That help is….. Mama DJ!", Chef and Mama DJ come out of the kitchen with sandwiches and began to pass them out. DJ was delighted to see his mama.

"Mama I'm so happy to see you!", DJ said as he wrapped his arms around his mother.

"I'm happy to see you to honey.", DJ began introducing her to people.

"Mama I'd like you to meet a whole bunch of people, Here's Beth and Trent and Owen and Bridgette an-.", he was cut off by his mama.

"Bridgette! Why I've heard so much about you. According you're the kindest, sweetest, most prettiest girl in the world!", DJ blushed uncontrollably. Bridgette blushed too. Before his mom said anymore embarrassing things about him, he sent her off.

"You should probably go back and help Chef pass out sandwiches."

Yeah, that's why we hired you girl! To help me!" Chef shouted. Mama DJ glared at Chef, then looked at his son and fully understood his vibe. She smiled and winked then walked away.

***Confessional***

**DJ: "I don't like Bridgette okay? Were just friends, besides….. She would never go out with a girl like me. (sigh)"**

***End Confessional***

While the contestants ate there lunches Chris announce the final new rule.

"This season the winner wins 10 MILLION DOLLARS!", Everyone just about chocked on there food when they heard the news. Cheers were heard throughout the room.

***Confessional***

**Jo: "That money I mine!"**

**Dawn: "If I win the money I refuse to spend it on frivolous things, but to help mother earth and my family."**

**Noah: "Wow, 10 million dollars… nope, still not enough to make me care." Noah went back to reading his book."**

**Alejandro: "Maybe I'll do well again this season. But not by my seductive ways of my past. Definitely no."**

**Gwen: "Maybe the fourth's times the charm! This could be my season! Maybe…"**

***End Confessional***

"Now lets work at the prize with our first challenge, Truth and/or Embarrassment, with Electrocution!"

***Confessional***

**Mike: "That sounds all too familiar."**

**Brick: "They all ready revealed my humiliating secret, what other dirt could they have on me?"**

***End Confessional***

Before they knew it the contestants were strapped to chairs above the ocean with Chris standing on a podium in the middle.

"The rules to this challenge is that you must reveal your identity when I reveal your big secret or you team gets dunked into the sea and I may or may not reveal the said secret." Everyone gasped. "Tough choice isn't it? Every time you fess up your team gets a point. Let's begin! Our first question goes to the heroes!" Everyone on there team looked worried.

"Who is related to 7 serial killers?", Trent sighed and glared at Chris.

"It was me", Duncan found an opportunity to attack verbally.

"Figures a nut like you would be related to murderers! Hahahaha!", directly after this Gwen slapped him and everyone glared at the delinquent. Except Chris, who continued with the challenge.

" One point for the Heroes! Next one is for the Villains! Who has a fake tan made of paint?", Everyone looked at Anne Maria.

"What? Why's you all lookin' at me? It ain't me!"

"We all saw that episode where that Zoey girl discovered it was fake, eh. Just admit it. It's nothing to be ashamed of.", Anne Maria glared at Zeke.

"I…..AIN'T…. ADMITTIN'….. NOTHIN'!", Anne Maria said in Ezekiel's face. The a buzzer went off.

"I'm sorry but the Villains are out of time and it was Anne Maria.", Then Chris pushed a button and sent them down to the sea and then they came back up. Izzy was covered with leaches.

"Look, I made new friends!", she said laughing. But Noah wasn't amused.

"Izzy get those off of you! You might die!", Noah the ripped off the leaches and threw them into the sea. Izzy wasn't upset at all.

"Bye little buddies!"

Next question is for the heroes Who has always since the show began, had a crush on Bridgette?", for the second time today DJ blushed madly. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Bridgette.

"Its all right DJ you can admit it. I know about it.", she said as she warmly smiled at him. DJ warmly smiled back and admitted he had a crush on Bridgette.

***Confessional***

**Bridgette: DJ really is the nicest guy in the world. But he really doesn't deserve a girl like me. (sigh)**

***End Confessional***

"And that's another point for the heroes! Next question is for the villains. Who has a huge crush on Izzy, and even encouraged Owen to breaking up with her?", everyone gasped. Noah's eye began to twitch.

"WHAT!", Owen screamed with furry no one had seen before, "Which one of you did that! I dare you to say it right now." Owen was fuming mad. Noah couldn't believe what he was about to do.

"Owen, everyone…. It was me.", Noah hung his head in shame. Owen was furious.

"Little Buddy! You of all people betrayed me! I can't believe you!", as Owen said this Noah let a rare tear roll down his cheek. He felt someone turning his face toward there own. It was Izzy. She leaned in began to kiss him. Noah's eyes bulged in surprise at first and then he slowly faded into the kiss.

***Confessional***

**Izzy: "I love Noah! After I become my normal self after being so smart, I realized I didn't love Owen anymore. I needed someone smarter and I chose Noah. I began to hang out with him more and slowly began to fall in love….."**

**Eva: "Nothing's really sweeter than seeing your two best friends in the world fall in love and kiss."**

**Sierra: "I am so blogging this! Nizzy fans are gonna freak!"**

**Cody: "Yes! Now I'll stop getting web mail about me being in love with Noah! No more awkward questions!"**

***End Confessional***

There was a collection of ooos and awws from everyone, except for Owen.

"I can't believe you all! Noah stole her away from me!"

"Actually in all technicality, she broke up with you.", Cameron said.

"Shut up!", screamed Owen. He then picked up his chair and through it at Noah. He dodged the flying item. Chris wasn't happy to see his stuff get destroyed.

"Owen, my man, what are you doing!?", but Owen wasn't listening, he started taking everyone's chairs and ripping apart the structure holding them in the air and throwing them at Noah, or trying to at least. He was constantly missing and destroying the structures keeping them a float.

"Chef help!", Chris screamed. A quick thinking Chef go some tranquilizer darts and shot Owen knocking him out.

"Well contestants, that was interesting. The Heroes would have won but since Owen had that little outburst I give victory to the Villains!", the villains cheered.

"That's how we roll!", Courtney shouted in triumph. The Heroes all glared at Owen. Then everyone returned to the ship.

***Confessional***

**Izzy: "Hah ha! Izzy's team won and she scored a boyfriend!" Her face then turns sad. "However, I did loose my friendship with Big O (sigh)."**

**Mike: "I can't believe we lost. I mean if Owen hadn't (GASP) Back in my day, kids didn't go on rampages when they didn't (GASP)." Mike just stares at the camera and frowns.**

***End Confessional***

Back on the cruise ship, Alejandro went to sit down when someone called his name.

"Alejandro!", as so it turns out it was Bridgette, "I just wanted to say I forgive you for what happened in World Tour. I thought I couldn't go on without Geoff…. And then I realized I could.", Bridgette looked back at a DJ chatting with Brick, Trent, and B. Alejandro smiled and hugged her.

"Thank you chica, thank you.", Then the two new friends parted ways and went off to there own business.

**Elimination Ceremony**

The Heroes team sat in a patio on the third deck. Chris stood in the front.

"Heroes, I have to say this was a shock to me. But what's done is done. When I call your name come and get a popcorn shrimp. B, Trent, DJ, and Cody all get shrimps. So do Lindsay, Harold and Cameron. As does Bridgette and Tyler. Dawn and Mike you guys are also safe. Brick come grab your shrimp.

"Sir yes sir!", only Beth and Owen remained.

Beth, Owen one of you is going home tonight. That person is…..

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"Owen, your time has come to go", Chris said as he tossed the last shrimp to Beth. Owen got up with a mix of anger and sadness on his face.

"Well, bye guys.", Owen began to slowly walk to the lifeboat of losers.

"Wait! Owen!", Noah came running towards him. Owen didn't look happy to see him.

"What do you want?", Owen said coldly. Noah hung his head down.

"Look, buddy… I'm sorry. I just never experienced love before. I just love Izzy. But I was wrong to encourage you to break up with her. But it is worth pointing out that Izz did break up with you, so I'm not completely at fault. I'm so sorry." After Noah was finished, something happened to him. His compassion and kindness returned and the jealous rage went away. He immediately hugged his friend.

"I'm sorry little buddy for being so angry and mean. And I forgive you." Owen was smiling again. Noah looked up at his buddy and grinned.

"Awwwww, that's so sweet.", Lindsay observed. Suddenly, Izzy appeared crashing out from a window.

'I was watching the whole time Big O! I glad you turned jolly again. Can we still be friends?"

"Of course Izzy!", they hugged and then he walked into the lifeboat of losers that was then lowered into the sea of sadness. And as the boat automatically sailed away he waved at his two friends.

***Confessional***

**Sierra: "So much drama happened today. I blogged it!"**

***End Confessional***

Chris is standing in the captains quarters getting a massage from an intern.

"What a day, huh?" Will Ezekiel ever stop getting on Anne Maria's nerves? How long is Nizzy going to last? How long is Gwuncan going to last? Will DJ and Bridgette ever hook up? Is Tyler really annoyed with Beth? Will Eva stay nice? And will Mike's personalities come back? Find out next time on Total… Drama… CRUISING!


	3. Ep 3- Meals of Disgustingness

"Last time on Total Drama Cruising, 28 teens began the journey to a grand prize of ten million dollars! Love blossomed between teddy bears, surfer girls, nutcases and bookworms. I also aired a few of the contestants dirty laundry on live television! Ha ha! In the end, it was Owen, who almost destroyed the structure holding us up during our challenge, who was eliminated. But not before patching things up with Noah and Izzy. What will happen in this episode! Will there be drama? More romance? Will it be gross? Yes, yes, and maybeeee. Find out right now on Total… Drama… CRUISING!

(Theme Song Plays)

***Boy's Heroes Room***

Everyone was asleep, all except for Mike who was worried sick.

"Ah geez", he whispered, "Why are my personalities coming back now, of all times. I mean (GASP) Timing is always so stinking difficult!", Chester was shouting the words coming out of his mouth, "I remember back in 1929 when (GASP)….. Ah, crape!", by now everyone except DJ and Cody were woken up.

"I'm trying to sleep, gosh!", Harold said covering his ears with his pillow. B sat up and rubbed his eyes. Brick and Trent yawned. No one really understood what just happened, except for Cameron.

"Mike… was that Chester?", he asked with concern. Mike buried his face in his hands.

"Yeah…"

"But I thought you conquered them last season! Why are they coming back? Do you think its because Zoey isn't here?", Cameron asked a little to loudly receiving a glare and another 'gosh' from Harold. Mike just sighed.

"I don't know what's causing it to come back buddy, I'm just worried. {sniff}", Mike was really scared. He didn't need his personalities coming back and screwing up his life. Cameron came over to him and patted him on the back. Then Brick came over to help.

"Mike, I'm still very confused about all your funny characters, but if you need anyone to talk to or need help, just come find me. You can consider me a friend.", with that Brick smiled and saluted him. Mike also felt a hand on his shoulder. It was B who was warmly smiled at him, as if saying 'I'm here for you too'.

"I'm here for you to Mike, if you need anything.", said a groggy Trent, smiling.

***Confessional***

**Trent: "I am totally confused on this MPD thing. But I saw some of Season 4 and it seemed like Mike was going nuts. And I know what its like to go nuts. So I'll be there for him."**

***End Confessional***

Mike looked at his friends.

"Thanks you guys"

***Girls Heroes Room***

Bridgette had tried to sleep, she just couldn't no matter what she tried.

"Can't sleep?", said a high, familiar voice. Bridgette looked over and saw Dawn meditating looking over at her.

"Is everything all right Bridgette?", Dawn asked. Bridgette just sighed.

"I guess…. things are going peachy, yeah that's the right word. I'm a little depressed. Heh, I guess you can say I'm apart of Total Drama Life." Then Bridgette started to cry. Dawn walked over and sat down next to her.

"Don't cry Bridgette, I understand. Its going to be okay."

"{sniff} You do?"

"Yes its all over your aura. Your conflicted deeply. You feel like you don't deserve someone.", Bridgette was amazed at Dawns words.

"Wow", the surfer girl said, "That's really accurate!"

***Confessional***

**Bridgette: And kinda creepy. But Dawn is becoming a good friend.", Bridgette is beginning to smile again, "Its nice of her to help me and have my back.**

**Dawn: Bridgette is my favorite veteran contestant. Plus she's a genuinely good person. I'm happy to help and be her friend.**

***End Confessional***

The two hugged, then Dawn walked up and went back to her bed.

"Remember Bridgette, I'm here for you", Dawn reassured.

***The Next Morning***

The heroes and villains teams in the dining area at there respective tables waiting for breakfast.

"Mmmmmm… Leshawna could use an omelet today!", the big sister bellowed.

"Um, we don't get omelets here. We get rancid milk and stale cereal. Get a clue sister.", Duncan said. Leshawna just glared at the delinquent.

***Confessional***

**Leshawna: "He is soooo gonna get it."**

***End Confessional***

"Duncan don't you remember", Sierra said joining the conversation, "Mama DJ's here! There's no way she'd feed us slop." Duncan just scoffed. Leshawna smirked.

"Girl you are some kind of crazy, but thanks for having my back.", Leshawna said. Before Sierra could respond, Mama DJ entered the room looking a mixture of sad and irritated.

"What's wrong Mama?", DJ asked.

"Are we having omelets?", asked Beth. She gained a dirty look from Tyler at that remark.

"What?", asked a confused Beth. Tyler just shook his head. Mama DJ wasn't annoyed by the wannabe though.

"Kids I've had a bit of a bad morning. And I can't tell you what your going to eat this morning. I guess its top secret.", then Mama DJ sighed and left the room. There was a collective gasp among the teens.

"Should we be worried?", asked Cody.

"Considering its Chris and he's flipping insane, I say we should be.", Harold said.

"But I wanted an onglet!", pouted Lindsay.

"Will you all stop your whining!", shouted Scott. Amongst all the chaos, Gwen had done some thinking. When she came to a frightening conclusion.

"Guys!", she yelled, "I think I know what's going on! QUIET!", then everyone began to settle down.

"Okay, enlighten us boyfriend kisser.", Courtney said giving her the seven hundredth glare today. Gwen sighed.

"Not now Courtney. Anyways I remember the last time we had to wait for our meal. It was when Chris had that revolting food eating challenge!"

And right you are Gwen! Today is are meals of disgustingness challenge!", Chris said walking in the room. Everyone groaned, the host just wickedly grinned.

***Confessional***

**Courtney: "Its times like these I wish I could have my lawyers."**

**Tyler: "Owen would have been really helpful in his challenge, of all the times for him to leave early!"**

***End Confessional***

Mama DJ and Chef walk out with five huge platters of food. They were death glaring each other.

***Confessional***

**Mama DJ: This is some of the most disgusting slop I've ever cooked. Just shameful.**

**Chef: I swear I've never seen a woman complain so much, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FIVE STAR CRUISE LINER TO YOU!? **

***End Confessional***

"Before you chow down let me explain the rules. There will be five rounds of eating torture. The team with the most competitors still eating wins the challenge! The losers send someone home tonight. If you barf your out, and you have to clean it up. Ha ha! You also may drop out….. Now let's begin! Your first course is beetle n' cheese kebobs! Have fun chowing down.

"Wait Chris, we don't need to do dis right?", Anne Maria asked.

"Nope you can quit now."

"Then I'm out, see ya.", Anne Maria responded walking away. Jo grabbed her shoulder.

"Oh no, ya don't, your gonna do this challenge!", Jo said in Anne Maria in her face.

"Make me He- Woman!", Anne Maria shot back. They wre about to beat the dickens out of one another until Eva stepped in.

"Hey girls lets not fight", Eva said smiling, "Lets just focus on the challenge.", the twosome looked at Eva funny, then sat back down.

***Confessional***

**Jo: Eva seems to have gone soft, I say we should vote her off next ceremony. If we have one. But Miss Tan-in-a-Can over here needs to go first.**

**Alejandro: I'm going to try to stay in this challenge as long as I can. But if its going to give me a beer belly by the mere thought of it, then I'm done.**

***End Confessional***

"I'm scared", Lindsay worriedly said. Am I gonna get sick and big from eating beetles?"

"Actually Lindsay, beetles are high in protein and nutrients. So it will do more good to you body than bad.", Harold replied. Lindsay was delighted.

"Thanks Harry! You made me feel much better!", then Lindsay excitedly took a bite of her food, " Mmmmm, I like it! I actually like it!"

"Same here!", Sierra shouted from across the room. Harold then took a bite of his kebob. Then his eyes bulged.

"Oh know! I forgot I'm allergic to beetles and dairy foods!" he said as he fell over unconscious.

"I think I have the same dilemma.", Cameron said also keeling over.

"This is so gross! I quit!", Heather said storming away from the table.

"If white girls gonna quit then I'm done too!", Leshawna said pushing her plate to the middle of the table. Then Cody barfed.

"I don't feel so good.", he said clutching his stomach. Chris was delighted.

"Here's a paper towel Cody, have fun!", Chris said. Next thing he knows Sierra was strangling him.

"Your not going to make my Codykins clean up barf! Got it!", Sierra screamed spraying it not saying it.

"Alright Sierra! An intern can do it. Intern! Come clean up barf, and when your done take Harold and Cameron to the infirmary! Oh, and Cody's still out.", Chris then ran out of Sierra's grasp. Cody then hugged her.

"Thanks Sierra, you're the best.", Sierra then picked him up.

"Oh Cody…..", then she kissed him on his gross, stained lips.

***Confessional***

**Cody: "(happy sigh) Sierra….. The only girl in the world who would kiss her boyfriend that just barfed." **

***End Confessional***

Finally everyone except the eliminated ( Cody, Harold, Leshawna, Heather, Cameron, and Anne Maria) moved on to the next round.

"The next food is garlic ice cream cones!", Chris announced. Gwen stood up and faced her team.

"I'm sorry guys, I can't do this.", Gwen said. Then she left the table.

"I don't think I can do this either.", Noah said looking at his melting ice cream cone.

"C'mon Noah!", Izzy said, "Can you lick the treat at least once? For me?", she said batting her eye lashes and giving a puppy dog face. Noah smiled.

"Anything for you Izzy.", then the bookworm gulped and licked the ice cream cone. He immediately broke out into hives. He began screaming and Izzy rushed to his aide.

"NO-AH! Why didn't tell me this would happen if you ate the ice cream!"

"I didn't…. wan…. O…..set you", Noah barely said. Izzy blushed.

"Awww, you didn't have to do that.", Izzy replied.

"I…..know.", Noah barely replied. Then an intern took him away. Izzy was near tears, Eva gave her a hug to show support. More barfing was soon to be heard.

"I can't stand garlic…", Bridgette said. Chris was super happy that someone else was going to clean up there barf.

"Here you go Bridgette.", Chris said handing her a paper towel.

"Wait, I'll get it for you Bridge.", DJ said taking the paper towel and started to clean up the mess. Bridgette smiled and blushed, but Chris was not amused.

"No DJ, I want Bridgette to clean up the barf for my amusement! If you don't stop your out of the challenge."

"Fine, I'd rather help my friend….. As a matter of fact I'll help everyone. If you barf I'll clean it up!", everyone cheered.

***Confessional***

**Lindsay: "PJ is so sweet…"**

**Brick: "Now that is a true gentlemen."**

***End Confessional***

Then the next round began. (Eliminated: Anne Maria, Harold, Cameron, Heather, Leshawna, Cody, Gwen, Noah, Bridgette, DJ)

"The next meal is Burnt Burger Bits in sour milk. Lindsay barfed at the very name of that. B shook his head in disapproval and quit.

"It's wrong to eat cows. They've done us no harm.", Dawn said as she got up and left.

"I also can't do this. Its so wrong.", Alejandro said. Trent took a whiff at his bowl and shuddered.

"Yeah, I'm out too. Sorry guys.", Trent said. Chris was getting annoyed with all the quitters.

"Alright lets begin the round", and so it began. Duncan took a spoonful and nearly passed out.

"Who was the person that made this!?", he shouted. Mama DJ walked over.

"Sorry hon, it was me.", she said hanging her head in shame. Duncan just glared at her.

"Well you're a sick-", then Duncan preceded to cuss her out. Everyone gasped. Duncan's face soon met DJ's fist, which broke his nose. Duncan grabbed his nose in pain. He caught eye with DJ who was mega death glaring him. He was about to take another swing when his mama shook his head. DJ obeyed and glared Duncan down as he walked away. The delinquent got up and walked over to his girlfriend. She gave him an angry look.

"What?", he cluelessly asked. Gwen just looked away.

***Confessional***

**Gwen: "What is wrong with him?!"**

**Mama DJ: "What a disgraceful young man."**

**DJ: "No on cusses out my Mama, **_**NO ONE.**_**"**

***End Confessional***

At the end of the round only Brick , Beth, and Tyler remained on the heroes team. And only Zeke, Jo, Courtney, Sierra, Scott, Eva, and Izzy remained on the heroes team. Cody saw the few remaining heroes and sighed.

"I thought heroes were supposed to do good."

"That's where your wrong.", someone said. Cody looked and saw Scott smirking at him.

"Villains always win in the end. I mean look at Heather and Duncan. Always cruel and mean. But hey won. You heroes are gonna lose. The villains are going to win again. Hahahaha!", Scott said laughing in his face. Cody looked down at the ground and let it all sink in. Then Chris announced the next round.

"Since were so short on players were going to skip to the final round. You'll be eating pig slop!", Chris said as he plopped down the trofts of slop.

"This is revolting", Courtney complained, " I don't care anymore, I quit!", Ezekiel poked the slop and something grabbed him.

"Ahhhhh!", he screamed, "I quit!", then he ran off.

"Begin…. Now!", Chris shouted. Sierra and Scott took one spoonful of the slop and immediately barfed. Ev took one spoonful and called it quits. Soon after consumption Brick passed out. It was just down to Beth, Tyler, Jo, and Izzy. All were close to barfing. Finally someone did…. It was Jo.

"The heroes win! The villains lose. Oh, and Izzy has immunity. There were cheers and groans.

***Elimination Ceremony***

"Welcome Villains to your first elimination night. When I call your name please get your popcorn shrimp….. Izzy, Noah, Eva, Ezekiel are all safe.

So are Jo and Scott… Leshawna get up here. Heather, Sierra, Gwen, Courtney, and Duncan.", Anne Maria and Alejandro were the bottom two.

"One of you is going home, that person is…...

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Alejandro…... Your safe. Alejandro looked relieved. Anne Maria was shocked.

"What!? But I…. oh well. At least I can use my hair spray without complaints.", then the jersey shore reject walked to the lifeboat of losers.

"The rest of you are safe for now.", Chris announced.

***Confessional***

**Cody: "I've thought about what Scott said….. And I've realized he's right. The bad guys here seem to always win. So I'm going to be bad. And I'm gonna win." The Cody evilly laughed**

***End Confessional***

Chris is seen steering the ship.

"Wow, I did not see that coming. Will Cody stay evil? Is Gwuncan gonna end? Will are contestants recover from today's challenge? Will Chef and Mama DJ continue to fight? And what will become of DJ and Bridgette? Find out next time on… Total… Drama…..CRUISING!


	4. Ep 4- Search for the Gunk

"Last time on Total Drama Cruising, this seasons contestnts took part in my own sick meals of disgustingness! Many barfed, passed out, and one delinquent got his nose broken. Mikes personalities gave him trouble again, and DJ showed a lot of heart. In the end the villains lost and Anne Maria was sent home. What will happen this time? Who will get hurt? Wit be physically, mentally, or both!? And what will I put the teens through next? Find out right here, right now, on Total… Drama… CRUISING!"

(Theme song plays)

***Boys Villains Room***

The sun was starting to poke in through the five portholes. Duncan sat up in his bed and stretched. He had a bandage on his broken nose. Alejandro was taking a shower. Ezekiel and Noah were brushing there teeth.

"Is that what a real toothbrush looks like?", Ezekiel asked Noah.

"Um, yeah."

"Oh, I've never seen them before, eh? Over at the farm we make our brushes by hand, with bark and straw.", Zeke said showing him the poorly made toothbrush.

"That's wonderful home school.", Noah said turning away and looking at the mirror. Then a door slammed. Scott stormed into the room ticked off.

"Hey Scotty boy, where have you been?", Duncan asked.

"Er….. Uh, I was snooping around the kitchen area. Trying to make sure that we didn't have to eat that slop from yesterday.", Scott lied.

"Well, it was gross. But at least we aren't starving, right?", Alejandro chuckled. Scott and Duncan rolled her eyes.

***Confessional***

**Duncan: "Did you see Al being all sappy? What happened to him?"**

**Scott: What I was really doing was looking for an immunity idol. Chris didn't mention them, but I have a feeling there out there.**

***End Confessional***

On the other end of the ship, a female villain was working out in the ships gym. While Eva was on the rode to be nicer and to control her temper, she still wanted to retain her strength and stamina. She was currently bench pressing 20,000 pound bench weights.

"Whoa! I never seen someone lift that much weight!", Eva looked to see who made that comment. Tyler was standing in the doorway holding a couple dumbbells.

"Oh, Hi Tyler.", Eva said smiling, "How are you?"

"I'm doing good.", Tyler said mesmerized still by the huge amount of weight she had lifted, "Can I try?", Tyler excitedly pleaded. Eva, however, was a little hesitant.

"I don't know, these are really heavy."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaassssseee ee!", Tyler said with a puppy dog look in his eyes. Eva sighed in defeat.

"All right.", she said reluctantly handing him the weights.

"Yeah! EXTREME!", he said. Sadly he fell to the ground as soon as he tried to lift them. As much as he would like to, Tyler could not lift 20,000 pounds. The jock wannabe was struggling for breath and about to pass out. The old Eva would have laughed at his pain, but the new Eva immediately helped him. He picked up and tossed the weights with ease. Then she picked him up and dusted him off.

"Are you okay Tyler!?", she said full of care and concern. Tyler coughed then smiled.

"Yeah I'm fine. I guess it was a little to 'Extreme' for me.", Tyler said. At this both he and Eva chuckled.

"Thanks for saving me.", Tyler said. Eva blushed a little.

"Oh it was nothing.", then they both looked at the floor awkwardly until a sound came from the intercom.

"Attention all contestants, report to the dining hall for breakfast and today's challenge! Mclean out.", then the device shut off.

"Well I better get going", Tyler said, "Bye Eva!"

"See ya Tyler", Eva responded as she packed up her weights and set them aside. Then she made her way to the dining hall.

***Dining Hall***

The remaining 26 teens sat at there team tables eating a 'hearty' meal of Silly Fruit Circles.

***Confessional***

**Noah: "Looks like are fabulous host was kind this season. Instead of buying obscenely cheap garbage, he bought us obscenely cheap **_**semi-**_**garbage."**

**Brick: When I was a lad my mom always gave me cereal to eat. I've loved it always. It really beats the slop they gave us in seasons past."**

**Lindsay: The blonde in holding a few pieces of the cereal in her hands. "Look! Donut seeds!"**

***End Confessional***

"I hope you all are enjoying your cereal", Chris said as he walked to the podium in front of them.

"I never had this before, eh?", Ezekiel said, "We only ate oats and eggs on the farm."

"It's okay I guess", Harold added, "It did make me feel nostalgic. Funny thing about cereal-"

"Nobody cares Harold", Chris interrupted. He received a glare from Harold, "Anyways, today's challenge is called search for the gunk! Each team must find….. What ever it is in there team color, red for the villains and blue for the heroes, in three separate locations, which are the crow's nest, the second smoke stack, and in the storage hold where a special surprise awaits! First team back with the most pieces wins. Go!", at this cry all the campers ran out of the hall and wound up piled on top of each other.

"Why am I feeling a sense of déjà vu?", Trent asked.

"This is just like Episode 27 of TDI, Total Drama Drama Drama Drama Drama Island!", Sierra exclaimed.

"I don't know about you, but I want to get out of this jam.", Scott said. After 20 minutes, the teens were free and running to the first stop, the second smokestack. Before long, the teams were at there destination.

"Where's the gunk?", Heather asked.

"I sense its all the way up there.", Dawn responded pointing to the top of the structure.

"Well that's just great!", Courtney exclaimed, "How are we supposed to get up there!?"

"I can do it with my awesome strength!", Tyler said as he began to climb the smokestack, only to fall down hard on his back. B winced at seeing this.

"Are you okay solider?", Brick asked as he helped the hurt teen up.

"I'm fine. But I want another try!", Tyler exclaimed as he took another attempt. He fell down again. And again. And again. In the meantime the villains were trying to think up a plan.

"While the jock failure is at it we need to grab our gunk.", Duncan said. Izzy's eyes lightened up

"Izzy is gonna somersault up there! Ha ha!", then the crazy bird did it. She made to the very top at her first try. She grabbed the gunk and somersaulted back down. The villains cheered.

"That's my crazy girl" Noah said planting a kiss on his girlfriends' cheek. Then the villains scampered away to the cargo hold. Finally, poor Tyler fell down with the gunk in hand. His team cheered and went to help him up.

"You okay?", Beth asked.

"Derp, look at the flying monkeys!", he said as he passed out. Interns came and took him away.

"I hope he doesn't have that severe of a concussion.", Cameron said.

"Poor Tyler…..", Lindsay sadly said. Mike, however, was not worrying about Tyler.

"Guys, The villains are getting ahead. Guys! (GASP) Myt goodness you fellars'! The other team is getting ahead! Are you dummies! (GASP)", then Mike turned back to his normal self. Everyone on his team as staring at him.

"What was that for!?", Bridgette asked. Mike was sweating nervously and at a loss for words.

"I'll explain later.", he said, "but the other guys are way ahead now. C'mon!", the rest of his team reluctantly followed him.

***Confessional***

**Mike: "It's getting worse" he said burying his face in his hands.**

***End Confessional***

Meanwhile, the villains made it to the cargo hold, where they passed a sprinting Mama DJ and Chef.

"Whoa where's the fire?", Jo asked.

"We had a hard time with that special surprise Chris probably told you about", Chef responded panting, then he pointed to Mama DJ "This woman saved my life."

"No he saved mine.", Mama DJ responded.

***Confessional***

**Chef: I was about to be mauled and this woman comes out with flying Judo kicks. I was impressed. But that's still not enough for me to like her**

**Mama DJ: I was about to have my little ol' head bit off, when he came and decked the yeti, super sweet of that ogre. But I still don't like him.**

***End Confessional***

Mama DJ then noticed Duncan's nose.

"How's your nose hon?", she asked him. Duncan snarled.

"It feels horrible! I can't breathe! Raised right my butt! You're a horrible parent.", Duncan laid in to her. Tears welled in Mama DJ's eyes. She hung her head in shame and slowly. Everyone, even Scott, Jo, and Chef, looked sad as she walked away. Then everyone shot a glare at Duncan. Chef growled and stormed off. Gwen smacked her delinquent boyfriend.

"Be nice and stop being a hole! She's a nice old lady."

"Pffft, yeah right. Gwen stop being so uptight.", Duncan scoffed.

"Duncan I am not being uptight. I want a boyfriend who isn't a total jerk. Where's your heart of gold I fell in love with?", Gwen asked pleadingly. Duncan rolled his eyes.

"Y' know I'm getting a bad vibe from you. I'm just gonna end it. Girls are a dime a dozen anyway.", then there was a collective gasp.

***Confessional***

**Ezekiel: "And I thought I was sexist, eh?"**

***End Confessional***

Duncan was punched in the eye by Gwen as she began sobbing. She ran into Leshawna's arms. She death glared him.

"You better sleep with one eye open tonight white boy.", Leshawna bellowed.

"What ever sister.", Duncan said. Then he turned to Courtney, "Wanna get back together princess?", Courtney responded by punching him in his good eye.

"Augh! My eyes are swelling!", Duncan shouted in pain.

"Serves you right", Courtney smirked. Then she turned to Gwen.

"Need a friend?", she asked.

"{sniff} Don't mock me Courtney.", Gwen responded. The CIT sighed.

"Gwen… I'm sorry okay? I shouldn't have held a grudge over, over jerk face Neanderthal. I forgive you…. Will you forgive me?", Courtney asked. The Goth Girl smiled.

"Okay Court, I forgive you….. Thanks.", she said. The two hugged.

"As touching as this is we need to get going! The heroes are caching up!", Heather shouted. She was right, as the heroes were passing them by. The 13 villains immediately started running. They eventually all made it to the cargo hold at the same time. There were a bear and yeti waiting there for them. The yeti had the villains gunk and the bear had the heroes gunk.

"I say me and Eva go beat that yeti to the ground!", Jo exclaimed. Eva was a little hesitant towards this.

"Isn't there someway we could do it without harming the beast?", Alejandro asked.

"I have an idea, this always works on my dog.", Noah said. He took the gunk there team already had and was about to throw it.

"What do you think your doing!?", Heather loudly whispered. The queen bee and the bookworm preceded to argue about the tactic. The heroes had a different strategy.

"I will go soothe the beast into giving us the gunk.", Dawn announced. Then she walked up to the bear who growled at the sight of the moonchild.

"Dear Bear, we only want to use the gunk you hold for a small purpose. We will not harm it and will return your treasure. I promise.", Dawn said patting the bear on the back. The bear smiled and handed the gunk to her. She skipped back over to her team. She received a high five from B.

"Wow! That's amazing, how do you do that?", Beth asked in amazement.

"I just have that way with nature.", then the heroes left for the crows nest. The villains, on the other hand, were still arguing.

"You know what!? TOO BAD!", Noah screamed in Heather's face. Then he got his way and threw the gunk. Unfortunately, it was not Noah's best plan. The yeti grabbed and ate the gunk, then charged at the teens. The ran screaming for there lives.

"You're dead string bean!", Jo shouted.

"The heroes have probably won by now, eh?", Zeke said. Homescool was correct. By the time the villains got there gunk from the crows nest and back to the dining hall the heroes were already eating a victory snack.

"And the Heroes win! Villains, you guys are sending someone home tonight."

***Elimination Ceremony***

Chris stood at the front of the patio.

"Well, you guys had a dramatic day, didn't ya?"

"Chris, just get on with it.", Courtney said.

"Fine, Courtney you're safe, as is Izzy, Zeke, Alejandro, Leshawna, Jo, Scott, Gwen, Sierra, and Eva.", only Noah, Duncan, and Heather remained. There eyes widen except for Duncan's because they were swollen.

"Heather your safe.", Chris tossed her the popcorn shrimp, "Noah and Duncan, you both are fan-favorites. But one of you is leaving. And it is…

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…. Duncan.", Chris said as he tossed Noah his shrimp. Duncan was shocked.

"What!? Noah lost the challenge!", he exclaimed.

"Yeah but you're a jerk.", Eva said, "And I no longer like your style."

"Whatever", the swollen Duncan said as he tripped into the lifeboat of losers since he couldn't see.

***Confessional***

**Cody: I may have done not very much as a villain today. But tomorrow my plan begins. Scott's dead."**

***End Confessional***

Chris is swimming in the pool below decks.

"What a day, huh? Will Gwen get over her loss? Are Chef and Mama DJ becoming friends? Will Tyler heal? And will Noah regain the trust of his team? Find out next time on Total… Drama… Cruising!


	5. Ep 5- Burn the Mutations!

"Last time on Total Drama Cruising, I sent the teens on a search for gunk around the ship. You'd think it wouldn't take long, but our own took forever! Tyler got injured, again and again, Dawn made some new friends, and Gwuncan was destroyed! In the end Duncan was sent home, I'll miss that little delinquent…."

"Speak for yourself! That hole gave me 20 wedgies in 7 minutes!", shouted an intern.

"Nobody asked you!", Chris shouted back, "Anyways, will Tyler get injured more? How will Gwen fare after her big break up? Find out right here, right now on Total…. Drama….. CRUISING!"

(Theme Song Plays)

Down in the storage room a bear was disappointed. Another creature had come and taken something from him, and broke the promise of returning it. The bear felt such a strange mix of pain and sadness. Then, a figure stood in the doorway. The bear sensed this and growled.

"Peace dear creature", the female voice said. The bear instantly calmed down.

***Confessional***

**Dawn: "I keep all my promises, even to these great beasts"**

***End Confessional***

"Here is you treasure, dear bear.", the moonchild said as she pulled out the gunk from her pocket. The bear smiled in delight and crawled over to the girl. He took the gunk and literally bear-hugged Dawn. They both grinned.

***Boy's Heroes Room* **

All the guys were in the process of getting ready for the day when DJ popped a question.

"You guys got any….", he asked, "any advice about girls?", answers came all at once.

"Don't go crazy and obsess over her!", Trent nearly shouted.

"Write her love poems. That worked with the fair Leshawna.", Harold suggested.

"Be a gentlemen and don't be rude. You like Bridgette right?", Brick asked.

"Yeah", DJ said blushing, "her", one person, however, was too busy fretting of his own troubles than give advice. A close friend was trying to help him.

"C'mon Mike, you have to take off you shirt sometime", Cameron stated.

"I'm too nervous about it. Chesters' come out Lord knows how many times in the past couple days!", Mike exclaimed.

"Having MPD issues?", Trent asked. The tan boy sadly nodded. Cody was not feeling as sympathetic. He was sitting close by and was tired of the "whining".

"C'mon Mike!", Cody shouted, "Just take off the shirt!", then the geek shoved Cameron aside and forcefully took off Mike's shirt. He gasped.

"Wassup", Vito said. The team stared at him in in disbelief and interest.

"Oh no! Its Vito", Cameron stated face palming.

"Yes it is", he responded, "Where's Anne Maria?"

"She was voted out two days ago", Harold explained.

"What!? I was gonna woo her with my looks and charm!" It must be your fault nerd!", Vito said as he stared down Harold. Then he tackled the mega-geek. Brick, DJ, and Trent rushed to the scene and pulled Vito off Harold. The three then braced Vito against the wall as B went to put a shirt on him.

"{GASP!}", Mike blinked hard as he returned to his normal self, "Wha….. What happened?"

"You changed personalities buddy, it was Vito", Cameron explained.

"Oh no", Mike groaned as he buried his face in his hands. The guys (except Cody) look sympathetically towards him. Then they turned and gave small glares toward Cody, who just nervously smiled.

***Confessional***

**B: He is shaking his head in disapproval**

**Cody: "My behavior there was a mistake. I really need to be more…. More subtle, That's it! But I'm sure my outburst didn't do two much damage."**

***End Confessional***

"Heh- heh, sorry guys", Cody nervously responded

***Dining Hall* **

That morning most of the villains weren't in the happiest of moods. They lost the last two challenges and a big break-up had happened. But at least one of them was in a chipper mood.

"My brothers and sisters", Leshawna bellowed, "I feel like we got this. Were gonna win today!", the Sierra, Gwen, Heather, and Courtney gasped.

"What?", the big sister asked.

"Don't you remember what happened in World Tour?", Courtney asked back.

"I said we were gonna win and we were totally hosed that whole day in the Amazon", Gwen explained as she shuttered at the memory. Half the villains team glared at Leshawna.

"Way to go", Heather teased. Leshawna responded by smacking her in the face.

***Confessional***

**Scott: "He he, I wonder if I can use this to my advantage….."**

**Heather: She's rubbing a bump on her face "Ugh! She is so going down!"**

**Leshawna: "I didn't know that happened! You think I cared to watch every episode in season 3? Do I look like Sierra to you!?"**

***End Confessional***

Much to everyone's dismay, a whistle went off and blasted there eardrums.

"Good morning contestants!", Chris announced with a smile. The others did not share his optimism.

"Shatter my eardrums why don't you?", Noah complained.

"Save why your complaining Noah for today's challenge, which I just know everyone will love.", Chris responded, "Follow me down at he boiler room!"

***Boiler Room***

"Today contestants, you will need much more brawn than brain for the challenge.", Harold and Noah rolled there eyes at this remark, "Because today you'll be shoveling coal into boilers!"

"That shouldn't be hard", Bridgette inquired, "Especially with DJ and his big, strong….", she blushed hard as she realized what she was saying

***Confessional***

**Bridgette: "Why did I say that!?"**

***End Confessional***

"No more interruptions please.", said a slightly annoyed Chris, "Anyways, these aren't just any coal! The are from the radioactive mines of Camp Wananakwa! Chef! Mama DJ! Come out with the samples!", the host demanded. When the two came out they glared at Chris. The coal they were crying had mutated. The objects now featured mouths with large, sharp teeth and said "bing!"

"Izzy likes that! I want to say bing too! Bing! Bing! Bing! Bing! B-", Noah then put his hand over his girlfriends mouth.

"Izzy, I love you….. But please don't do that", he asked. His crazy bird wasn't ruffled.

"Okay!", she said with a smile on her face. Then Chris began to explain everything else.

"As you can see my interns are pulling over the coal for each team. I have dyed the coal blue for the Heroes and the coal red for the Villains. The first team that gets all the coal in wins the challenge! The losers have to through a DOUBLE elimination tonight. Okay? GO!", then the remaining 25 teens went to work.

***Confessional***

**Lindsay: she is holding a growling piece of coal "Oh you are so cute!" then the coal bites her finger, "he he, that tickles!"**

***End Confessional***

The Villains had the upper hand at first. With people like Jo and Eva who were strong and tough they were starting to go through there coals fast. Cody saw this as the time to strike.

"Hey Scott, I sorta thought about what you said a couple episodes ago and I've decided to turn bad….. Can you teach me your strategy you used last season?", Cody asked with mock sincerity.

"Sure _buddy._", Scott said with a smile.

***Confessional***

**Cody: "Ha! I knew Scott would fall for it! I mean, if he thinks throwing you teams challenges is a good strategy….."**

**Scott: "So I have a little apprentice. Let's see how this works out."**

***End Confessional***

"Hmmmmmmm… what can I do?", Scott wondered.

"Just to let you guys know", Chris said as he popped his face in a doorway, "If you throw a piece of coal and you miss and it breaks, it counts as a penalty towards your team", then Scott got an idea.

"Codemister, check this out. THIS is strategy.", he said as he through the rock wall, making it somehow look like an accident.

"Ooops", Scott muttered, "butterfingers"

"Scott! Ugh, you caused us a penalty. Don't let it happen again. Or Else.", Courtney threatened. Scott wasn't even fazed, and winked at his new apprentice.

"Don't worry, it won't happen again", Scott lied. Then he picked up another coal and threw it pretty close to the floor. It didn't really look like an accident.

"You little redneck! Your throwing the challenge!", Jo screamed.

"Jo's right, your trying to lose! I'm gonna get up in you face white boy!", Leshawna bellowed. Cody began laughing hysterically as Leshawna, Jo, and Courtney began beating up Scott. The geek's plan worked. Alejandro had been watching. He just shook his head and sighed at the semi- carnage. Heather noticed his look and approached him.

"Alejandro, why are you being so nice?! Is this some new scheme?", Heather asked. AL chuckled.

"No Chica, this is not a scheme. I truly have changed.", Heather did not believe and rolled her eyes as she began to walk away. The Alejandro placed his hand on her shoulder."

"{sigh} Look Heather, I don't know how else to convince you. I know its probably hard to believe me after all I did in the third season, but I have truly changed. I realize now how wrong it is to be evil.", the he grabbed Heather's left hand, "And I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for kicking me in the kiwis and shoving me down that volcano. Because if you hadn't I wouldn't have seen the light.", then Alejandro left leaving Heather stunned.

***Confessional***

**Heather: "I…. I never felt so heroic. I feel… I feel as if I saved a life." then tears begin to fill her eyes.**

***End Confessional***

Trent was working hard on chucking the mutated coal into the fire when he noticed Gwen sulking. She was still very upset about her break up with Duncan. So he decided to go cheer her up. But she wasn't exactly up for it.

"Trent go away. I'm not in the mood.", Gwen said coldly. Trent was taken aback and walked away.

***Confessional***

**Trent: "That was a hit and miss."**

***End Confessional***

Aside from Trent and Cody, everyone on the Heroes team was working hard. On the Villains team, however, few were working. Besides shoving coal into fire, Tyler was also trying to talk to Lindsay. But she was having a conversation with Beth.

"Hey Lindsay! Check this out!", the suckish sporto said as he juggled the 5 pieces of coal.

"Shhh! Were having girl time!", Beth scolded. Then Tyler dropped the coals and stormed off.

***Confessional***

**Tyler: "That's it! I've had it with Beth stealing away my time with Lindsay!"**

***End Confessional***

Just as three certain ladies were pulling the last punches on Scott, B was putting a plan into action that he thought would be a sure win for his team. First he went over to the crew who were having lunch. B gestured toward the big drumstick. An intern understood and gave it to him. Then the genius walked over to the remaining coals and lured them to the boiler with the scent of the chicken. Then B through the meat into the fire and the coal stupidly followed.

"And thanks to B's genius the Heroes win!", Chris announced. Everyone hugged and high-fived B.

***After Dinner, Some time before Elimination.***

Eva was returning from the gym after a good workout when she ran into her new friend Tyler.

"Hey Tyler", the muscle woman said with an awkward smile. Tyler did not follow suit.

"Hey Eva… I have a question"

"Ask away"

"Thanks, I have a problem. Someone's really annoying me. What should I do?"

"Hmmmm, what I think you should do is tell the person bothering you what's up and try to fix. But don't be unreasonable or mean."

"Alright, that's pretty good advice. Thanks Eva!", Tyler said as he ran off.

"Your welcome Tyler. Your welcome.", Eva said as she stared down the hall he left through.

***Elimination Ceremony***

"Welcome Villains to your third elimination in a row!", at his everyone glared at Chris. Except for Scott, who was back in the trauma chair from the beating he took earlier, "when I call out your name please catch the popcorn shrimp I will toss to you. Noah…. Gwen….. Ezekiel….Courtney….. Alejandro…..Izzy…Eva… Sierra…Jo.", only Leshawna, Heather, and Scott remained," I would like to remind everyone that it is a double elimination and two of you are leaving. Those persons are…...

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….. Heather and Scott.", Chris revealed as he tossed the shrimp to Leshawna. Heather was shocked. Scott didn't react due him being confined so. Four interns took him into the lifeboat of losers. Heather stood up and started to walk to the boat when Alejandro came up behind her and gave a hug. When he broke it they looked into each others eyes and kissed. Heather did not knee him in the balls this time.

"I love you Heather"

"I love you Alejandro", then Heather walked into the lifeboat and sailed away.

***Deck C***

Beth was enjoying a nice little stroll. She was just enjoying bliss, when Tyler approached her.

"Hey Tyler", she said with a smile. Tyler did not smile. He had forgotten what Eva told him.

"I think you should spend less time with Lindsay, she's MY girlfriend.", Tyler demanded. Beth was confused.

"I don't understand….."

"You don't have to Beth. Just stay away with Lindsay for awhile, okay?"

"NO! I won't!"

"What!?", Tyler said daring Beth to answer.

"Lindsay is like, my only friend! You've got some nerve telling me to stay away from her! You jerk!", Beth shouted in his face. Tyler shouted in frustration and ran off.

***Confessional***

**Beth: "If Tyler thinks I'm listening to him he's got another thing coming!"**

***End Confessional***

Chris is seen eating a gourmet meal.

"Crazy day, huh?" Will Trent ever win Gwen back? Who will Cody try to eliminate next? Will Mike get his MPD under control? And what's going to happen with Beth and Tyler? Find out next time on Total….. Drama….. CRUISING!


	6. ANNOUNCEMENT, from Sierra

"Hey fellow Total Drama fanatics!", Sierra said with a giggle, "Your probably wondering where the next update is for this fic! Me and the author the other day had a conversation at a TD expo and he told me to tell you that he's starting over! {gasp}. He has decided to redo it with a new concept and all the contestants! He's really sorry, but the new one will be improved a lot! He he! So check for the new fic which will premiere in the next few weeks, Total…. Drama

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NUTTINESS!


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